By Dr Anita Devi
“How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!”
– King Lear, (Act 1 Scene 4)
As educators, we have all spent time as some point, talking to children and young people the importance of gratitude and appreciation. It is something that is integrated into our teaching approach. We model it in our classrooms, canteens, assemblies, playground, sports fields and corridors. I know I have also on some occasions had to address topics such as the sincerity of gratitude and that is more than just about the words ‘thank you’. Sometimes it requires empathy.
Sian and Angela did not get on. They had been in the same class for years. They had never had an argument (in the real sense), but something just annoyed Sian about Angela and frustrated Angela about Sian. Both had separate friends’ groups and their paths crossed occasionally, but on the whole, they avoided each other. There was an unsaid dislike and judgement of the other. Sian broke her leg towards the end of the summer term. This was a huge disappointment, as Sian loved Sports Day and was incredibly good at winning different events. Angela felt a deep sadness in her heart. This was their final Sports Day in primary school, and she kept thinking about how Sian must be feeling. Sian was a far better athlete than Angela and as she reflected back on previous Sports’ Days, she remembered how much she had admired Sian’s commitment to athletics, even if they didn’t get on. Angela sent Sian a social media message “Appreciate you, A” with the following graphic:
Sian was elated. She had been feeling low and just knowing someone was thinking of her made all the difference to how she felt on the inside and out.
Gratitude is a posture of the heart; it is also the gateway to inclusion. If we consider inclusion as a process of acceptance, then attached to acceptance has to be appreciation. It would be incongruent to accept without appreciating and even more impossible to appreciate without acceptance. Acceptance and appreciation are twins, joined at the hip. If one turns in this direction, the other follows and vice versa.
… endings are also new beginnings in disguise. Sian was so touched by Angela’s message; she decided to make and send her a motivational pocket graphic for Sports Day. She spent hours researching inspirational quotes until she found one that was just right. Angela loved Science, so Sian chose:
“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning!”
Albert Einstein.
Sometimes, instead of a posture of acceptance and appreciation, we focus on comparison. Accepting others for who they are starts with us accepting ourselves for who we are. Each of us is uniquely made for and with purpose. We each have a unique journey and story to tell. And yet we belong to the one collective called humanity. So, when we accept ourselves and each other, what are we accepting?
I would like to suggest acceptance manifests in three areas:
- Who we/they are (identity): personality and character
- Our / their life story (life journey): past and future visions
- Our / their creativity and talents (gifts): ideas and actions
All three of these are inner dimensions. Too often I think we focus on inclusion based on external factors and issues. We neglect a deeper need for inner inclusion, that comes through relationships. Knowing ourselves and others. This is why team activities and team sports are so powerful. United in a common cause, we each work and contribute to our strengths.
Sports Day had arrived. Angela ran her race and won, whilst Sian watched and cheered her on. That one exchange of gratitude made them realise how much time they had wasted in not liking each other. By avoiding each other, they had missed out on an inner connection and acceptance. They had missed out on encouraging each other. Needless to say, they became good friends, and this stood them in good stead, as they entered secondary school – a new daunting chapter for both of them … and yet they both embraced it in their own way.
Now that’s inclusion!
SEND Leaders’ Appreciation Day 2023 is on 1st July. Look out for our special announcement #SLAD2023
About Anita:
As a former SENCO, Senior Leader, School Improvement Advisor, and local authority SEND Advisory Teacher and Healthwatch Trustee Anita Devi carries a wealth of experience in developing leaders of learning. Her own teaching career spans early years to post grad in the UK and overseas and Anita lives her why through her belief in the joy of learning. In 2017, Anita was awarded the prestigious international Influential Educational Leaders Award for her SEND Pipeline strategy developing professional from initial teacher training to advanced and experienced SENCOs. Anita is author of the first SEND book for Early Career Teachers and has contributed to several other publications. Anita passed her PhD thesis viva on the career trajectory of a SENCO (beyond the NASENCO) in in 2022. Currently a Changemaker Education Consultant & Founding CEO of #TeamADL & #365send In 2023 MAT Awards Giving Back Winner.
www.teamadl.uk | www.inclusionleader.pro | www.365send.uk | www.inclusionville.me
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